Recently my character came into question over a decision I
made several years ago. It was the kind
of formal accusation that stuck with me for quite a while afterwards. Not surprisingly, the criticizer didn’t have all
their facts straight and made the false assumption that my decision was of malice,
and not one of thoughtful consideration.
As surprising as the allegation was I had to be honest with myself and
ask the question, “Who have I ever falsely accused without knowing all the
details?”
As humans, who are we to question the other’s decisions? Do we really know the full story, or do we simply
trust what we see or hear and somehow feel that our assumptions are accurate? I’m no different than most, I’m guilty of creating
opinions of others without knowing them or their circumstances. We are all guilty of it, but we must remember
that each of us have our own “stuff” that people are going to judge us on.
Take the homeless man that’s standing at the street corner
with a sign asking for help. Be honest,
what pops into your mind when you see him?
“He’s too lazy to get a job!” “He’s
only going to use the money I give him to buy his next drink!” Consider this, though, what if you learned
that he recently lost his wife to cancer?
Her medical bills were too much and he lost everything. He lost his job because his employer wasn’t
sympathetic to his absences during her illness.
What about the obese lady in the drive-thru at McDonald's that’s a car
ahead of you? Do you think, “She, of all
people, shouldn’t be eating fast food!
No wonder she’s so big!” Did you
know that her daughter was killed in a car accident a year ago? That the two of
them use to go to McDonald's every Saturday afternoon to share an ice cream cone
and talk about their week? Did you consider
that perhaps her drive-thru trip was her way of staying connected with her
daughter?
Everyone has their “stuff.”
We all have things in our past that we regret, feel embarrassed about,
are ashamed of, or wish we could take back.
Regardless, it’s our “stuff,” and we must find ways to deal with it. The next time you make a snap judgment on
someone you know nothing about, consider what “stuff” they may be dealing with
and give them the benefit of the doubt.
Wouldn’t you ask the same of them?
As for my decision that recently came into question, I
wouldn’t have changed a thing. It’s
because of the decision I made all those years ago that I’m in a much better
place in my life. As for the accuser
that brought my character into question, I don’t wish them ill will. I simply refuse to explain myself to them or
anyone else that sides with their opinion of me. I chose to remind myself that each of them
have their own “stuff” they’re dealing with and they don’t need me adding to
their burden or own guilt.
A Common Man
