I recently read somewhere that we create “pathways”
throughout our lives in our relationship with others. I began to reflect on exactly what that
meant, and this is what I discovered.
Mind you, everyone has their own interpretation of how their lives are
shaped, this is simply my way of thinking how my life has evolved, but I know
my definition isn’t for everyone.
When I was a growing up I couldn’t understand why some
people were part of my life and others weren’t.
I didn’t know why I got stuck with the mean teacher or the bad coach,
why I had some friends and not others, why some girls liked me and others
wouldn’t give me the time of day. Of
course, like any other boy I wanted the nice teacher, the fun coach, the
coolest friends and the cutest girl to like me, but to me it seemed that I was
always the unlucky one. Why did I have
to eat at the nerd table at lunch? Why
was it that the girl with the gap in her front teeth and big nose seem to like
me, but the pretty blond with a bow in her hair would never look my way? Why was I always in the PE class with the smoking,
alcoholic coach that wore his gym shorts too high? Why was my teacher the one with the bad
breath who yelled all the time? Why me??
As I grew older my relationships with others evolved. I grew out of my awkward stage and started to
gain muscle. My baseball and football
teammates became my friends. The cute
girls began to notice me. My teachers
and coaches became more tolerable. I
started working and created new relationships as an employee. I became the trainer and not the
trainee. My life was changing and I
began to discover the true “me!”
I became an adult.
People came in and out of my life.
Fraternity brothers, girlfriends, professors, co-workers, bosses,
roommates, shipmates and extended families.
I matured, married, had children, became a teacher, became a coach, and
became a boss. More people became
interwoven into my life and I slowly discovered that there was purpose and
meaning to every aspect of my experiences and interactions with everyone that I
considered a part of who I had become.
I’m going to become a grandpa for the first time in
December. My life is evolving once
again. I’m discovering that my
experiences and what I’ve learned from all those that have been a part of my
life have taught and prepared me for this new moment. You see, I now understand what creating “pathways”
throughout our lives really means. My
pathways have led me to each and every one I’ve come in contact with throughout
my life. Throughout the years I’ve
learned to avoid certain paths and run to others. I’ve learned to enjoy the view along some
paths and turn away from the ugliness of others. I’ve learned to love and cherish where some paths
lead me, and pray for guidance down those foreign or unknown to me.
As an older man, I see my pathways as an opportunity to hold
my granddaughter’s hand and lead her down her own pathways as she grows. I will help her learn which directions to
avoid and which paths are safe. She will
have to discover her own way, but my life would mean nothing if I didn’t share
with her and others the lessons I’ve learned along the way.
~A Common Man
