My Pathways

I recently read somewhere that we create “pathways” throughout our lives in our relationship with others.  I began to reflect on exactly what that meant, and this is what I discovered.  Mind you, everyone has their own interpretation of how their lives are shaped, this is simply my way of thinking how my life has evolved, but I know my definition isn’t for everyone.

When I was a growing up I couldn’t understand why some people were part of my life and others weren’t.  I didn’t know why I got stuck with the mean teacher or the bad coach, why I had some friends and not others, why some girls liked me and others wouldn’t give me the time of day.  Of course, like any other boy I wanted the nice teacher, the fun coach, the coolest friends and the cutest girl to like me, but to me it seemed that I was always the unlucky one.  Why did I have to eat at the nerd table at lunch?  Why was it that the girl with the gap in her front teeth and big nose seem to like me, but the pretty blond with a bow in her hair would never look my way?  Why was I always in the PE class with the smoking, alcoholic coach that wore his gym shorts too high?  Why was my teacher the one with the bad breath who yelled all the time?  Why me??

As I grew older my relationships with others evolved.  I grew out of my awkward stage and started to gain muscle.  My baseball and football teammates became my friends.  The cute girls began to notice me.  My teachers and coaches became more tolerable.  I started working and created new relationships as an employee.  I became the trainer and not the trainee.  My life was changing and I began to discover the true “me!”

I became an adult.  People came in and out of my life.  Fraternity brothers, girlfriends, professors, co-workers, bosses, roommates, shipmates and extended families.  I matured, married, had children, became a teacher, became a coach, and became a boss.  More people became interwoven into my life and I slowly discovered that there was purpose and meaning to every aspect of my experiences and interactions with everyone that I considered a part of who I had become.

I’m going to become a grandpa for the first time in December.  My life is evolving once again.  I’m discovering that my experiences and what I’ve learned from all those that have been a part of my life have taught and prepared me for this new moment.  You see, I now understand what creating “pathways” throughout our lives really means.  My pathways have led me to each and every one I’ve come in contact with throughout my life.  Throughout the years I’ve learned to avoid certain paths and run to others.  I’ve learned to enjoy the view along some paths and turn away from the ugliness of others.  I’ve learned to love and cherish where some paths lead me, and pray for guidance down those foreign or unknown to me.

As an older man, I see my pathways as an opportunity to hold my granddaughter’s hand and lead her down her own pathways as she grows.  I will help her learn which directions to avoid and which paths are safe.  She will have to discover her own way, but my life would mean nothing if I didn’t share with her and others the lessons I’ve learned along the way.

~A Common Man